48 x 48 x 1.5 in., mixed media on canvas

Working in black and white with energetic moments of color, I began questioning popular concepts of democracy and decolonization and how they collapse in on each other and diverge at important points. The tiger as symbol of aggressive, consumptive energy juxtaposed with the imagery of care and lists of instructions taken from an emergency preparedness manual form a tension centered on the individual and collective engagement in political systems and the limited choices presented in that participation.

30 x 30 x .75 in., acrylic, spray paint, oil pastel on canvas

The legal concept of Terra Nullius means "Land of No One", a principle used by governments to claim land for Settlers like my Mennonite ancestors, Bernhard Klaassen and Peter Schultz, who arrived in Minnesota in the mid-1870s. Initially, I had set out to explore the historical relationship between Indigenous communities and Mennonites in Cottonwood County, Minnesota; the Dakota War of 1862 had expelled all Indigenous communities from the area just over a decade prior to Mennonite arrival.

24 x 24 x 1.5 in., acrylic, tape transfer on canvas

The quiet unsettling when you know you don’t fit in the community you were born into and don’t quite see the path out, endurance until it emerges, Miriam Toews, shared culturo-religious circles, A Complicated Kindness, the jellyfish nature of our backbones, how long can you hold the tension between self and system?

30 x 40 x 1.5 in., acrylic on canvas

“My family’s been on this land for 7 generations blah blah blah blah”

36 x 48 x 1.5 in., acrylic, oil, spray paint on canvas

The solar plexus: the pit of the stomach, crucial to the function of multiple organs, an energy center within systems of yoga (amongst other traditions), brightness, balance of energy, power, self-esteem, agency.

For a very long time, I didn’t know how to access, pay necessary attention to, be aware of the signals this place in the body gives us, the simultaneously terrifying and wonderful ideas and intuitive messages it gives.

Mennonites, safety, unsafe, warmth, grounded, yellow brightness, gold in the shadow and more paintings on men and the vulnerable inner lives of their stomachs and this is great because I didn’t get mad that the lines weren’t straight or perfect.

24 x 24 x 1.5 in., acrylic, canvas scraps on canvas

Sink as far down as you can be pulled up

Happiness really ain't all about luck

Let your demeanor be your deep down self

And don't sacrifice your life for your health

When you speak, speak sincere

And believe me friend, everyone will hear

Life ain't always empty

A Hero’s Death, Fontaines D.C.

24 x 24 x 1.5 in., acrylic, oil pastel, tape transfer on canvas

The Will to Change, putting word to the internal gaps that you didn’t have language for, am I any more (or less) than a money-making being? “Masses of men have not even begun to look at the ways that patriarchy keeps them from knowing themselves, from being in touch with their feelings, from loving.”

bell hooks

60 x 96 in., acrylic on canvas

Look at Behemoth, which I made along with you and which feeds on grass like an ox.

What strength it has in its loins, what power in the muscles of its belly!

Job 40:15-16

Learning to wear a mask (that word already embedded in the term "masculinity") is the first lesson in patriarchal masculinity a boy learns. He learns that his core feelings cannot be expressed if they do not conform to the acceptable behaviors sexism defines as male. Asked to give up the true self in order to realize the patriarchal ideal, boys learn self-betrayal early and are rewarded for these acts of soul murder.

The Will to Change, bell hooks

24 x 24 x .75 in., acrylic, spray paint, textile, mirror on canvas

The Quiet in the Land, in the world but not of it, “peace” means no uncomfortable conflict, swallow your tongue whole through a veneer of fleshy, thick rolls of bread and scraps of rainbow textile, have you checked on your Japanese neighbor before they have to report for the concentration camp?

24 x 24 x 1.5in., acrylic, graphite, tape transfer on canvas

Life swallows one universe, brings death and another life emerges, creation/destruction bound by emotional sinews placed upon us and ones we get to choose for ourselves, Death of The Good Boy, fuck, the Unknown Mystery is expansive, here comes the gremlin at 3am, Will The Circle Be Unbroken?

24 x 24 x .75 in., acrylic, found objects, collage on canvas

What’s in a grandmother’s world?

24 x 25 x .75 in, acrylic, oil stick on canvas

It started with a cow, then I messed that up because I tried too hard and need to learn color layering better but I got these new Golden Paints So Flat Matte acrylics that are super tight, so I had to keep going and then I thought about my childhood church group Boys Brigade on Wednesday nights and building a small car with my dad and how I felt not cared for because of his emotional absence but we’re good now, I held that over his head for a long time and that was bullshit on my part, he’s helping me find a Land Cruiser now and we have great chats, he’s a great dude, so needed to put all that to rest, your shadow really comes out when you start to paint, this was all between 1pm and 5pm on a Friday, really makes you think.

24 x 24 x 1.5 in., acrylic, graphite, tape transfer on canvas

Shown in the North, Robert Zimmerman, did no one notice?, this is an iconic image!, I feel like the middle figure, mustachioed, a little fancy, emerging, the stallion runs across the Western plains, journey and the taste of dirt in your teeth, put an alchemical symbol in the corner because you feel it but who knows what it means?

24 x 24 x 1.5 in., acrylic, found objects, oil stick on canvas

Seelenkranheit: The result of unconfessed sin

I struggle with the color orange. I also struggle with institutions that cut off their nose to spite their face. The current situation enveloping the Mennonite Brethren in the Central Valley around the issue of affirming our LGBTQIA+ folks should not be complicated: full affirmation, love, acceptance for members who identify and policy that reflects that is the move in line with Jesus’ teaching on radical love. Or did we forget all that talk about the Upside Down Kingdom?

James Baldwin said it best:

“If the concept of God has any validity or any use, it can only be to make us larger, freer, and more loving.”

48 x 60 x 1.5 in., acrylic, spray paint, cardboard on canvas

Inadvertent minimalism and experiment in chance, JR Rider-approved with some East Bay Funk.

24 x 24 x .75 in., mixed media on canvas

24 x 24 x 1.5 in., mixed media on canvas

I thought I had to be obscure, living in the ivory tower, to be taken seriously.

48 x 48 x 1.5 in. | Acrylic, ink, acrylic marker on canvas

Based in a memory from childhood, the piece digs into personal histories, repressed memory and the emotions attached to them. The rough, raw drawing style and loose strokes connected my bodily experience and emotional state during the process, using bold, distinct colors to generate the courage to stare the hard things in the face.

48 x 48 x 1.5 in., acrylic, collage, ink on canvas

24 x 24 x 1.5 in., acrylic, tape transfer, found objects on canvas

The experiences that come from without, placed upon you through no choice of your own, how can you move through the world in someone else’s outfit? Restricted movement. An inspired choice for those patent leather Airwalks that feel like you and you learn that making choices for yourself comes at the cost of making yourself a target for others to shift their own outfits onto.

24 x 36 x 1.5 in., mixed media on canvas

28 x 28 x .75 in., acrylic, tape on canvas

I’ve been thinking about cows a lot lately and the meanings we project on to them: symbols of innocence and wealth, an invasive species in North America ecologically speaking, the bedrock of a culture of entitlement and ideas of dominion over nature.